Pouring the Ancestral Cup. Three ways that honoring the dead heals the living.

Our culture is one of the few in the world that has little or no relationship to death.

In many cultures around the world rituals for the dead take place year round. Ancestral altars and offerings are deeply woven into everyday life.

Ancestors are honored as a source of wisdom and strength. They are the ones who figured out how to survive. How to live in community. How to feed their families and pass their genetics, wealth and wisdom onward.

There’s also an acknowledgement of soul ancestors. The artists, writers, teachers and figures from history that give us inspiration. They’re the ones who pass on creativity and visions that feed your soul and light up your purpose in life.

But in the modern industrial western world (particularly in the USA) we have a culture that does not like to look backwards. It is a culture of progress, growth, innovation, of the younger, newer and better.

We like to think of ourselves as rugged individuals forging new destinies that have nothing to do with our dusty old relatives.

Ancestors and the elderly are not only dismissed but are considered irrelevant to the modern age. Why would you want to think about the past when AI can make the future so much better?

An extension of this idea is that old things have less value in our culture. Old houses torn down for condos are seen as an economic improvement. Old forests are cut, managed and replanted with young trees. Old people are an inconvenience we tolerate. Death is a unfortunate thing we don’t like to talk about or dwell on.

So when Halloween rolls around in the US- it exists mainly for partying or for kids. For most it’s just another workday with a pumpkin spice latte and maybe some cat ears thrown on for fun.

Christmas decorations often come out before Halloween even arrives- so eager is the push to get past all this silly death and onto the main selling season that will boost economic numbers for the quarter.

All of makes sense in a culture that avoids dealing with death- and the emotions that come with it (grief, shame, and regret).

But what we don’t realize is that by not having a relationship with the dead we are missing out on a huge part of our own healing. There’s a reason that most cultures hold an honored space for this energy.

Here’s three reasons why you may want to create a space in your life for the dead- not only around Halloween and Dia De Los Muertos but also year round.

1. Connection.

   One way that the dead heal the living is to soothe the cultural wound of disconnection and loneliness.

   A government report released in this spring titled "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation," finds that even before the COVID-19 pandemic, about half of U.S. adults reported experiencing measurable levels of loneliness.

   It warned that the physical consequences of loneliness can be devastating, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease; a 32% increased risk of stroke; and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. Loneliness is also linked with depression and many other forms of mental illness.

   Francis Weller in his book The Wild Edge of Sorrow talks about 5 gates of grief. One of them is the grief of what we expected to have but did not receive.

   For most of human existence on Earth we lived in communal societies. Hundreds of thousands of years of being tribal peoples with deep connections to the land and to each other for not only survival but to meet our deep human need to feel purpose in relationship to more than just ourselves.

   In a communal society you would have had a rich connection to the land you lived on and the plants and animals there. You would have had a mythology that included your direct relationship to your clan, community and cosmos with rituals that reinforced those bonds and how your relationships to them changed over the course of your life.

   Your birthright would have included many stories and rituals connecting you to your ancestors. These would include plant and animal ancestors and star ancestors. They would include sacred places you’d visit and weaving patterns that would adorn your clothes. From birth you would feel held by this large web of connection.

   This can still be found in many cultures in the world but is starkly lacking in our own.

   It’s a deeply healing process to start this journey of re-connection.

   What are some of your ancestors names? Where did they come from? What foods did they eat? What colors did they like to wear? What are the stories and rituals of the places they lived?

   Find photos, recipes and create an altar for your own ancestors. Light a candle for them. And ask them for guidance. One of the things that utterly confuses tribal peoples about our culture is why we don’t give our ancestors any work to do. They consider them a vibrant force of energy and protection that they call on daily for help.

   If you don’t know your ancestors or don’t feel connected to them- then look to the place you live. What is the name and shape of the watershed you live in? What birds migrate there? What are the names of trees and types of rocks found here?

   These are ancestors of place and have been here much longer than you have. Find a tree you like to visit to on a walk each day and leave an offering at it’s roots.

   These small rituals of connection can heal you in ways you may not expect. They restore a small part of the ancient web of life to your world.

   Loneliness isn’t about being alone- it’s about not having the relationships to things or people that bring your life meaning and purpose.

   Your ancestors eagerly await you to start the conversation with them.

2. Purpose.

   Close your eyes and consider for just a moment that it’s two hundred years in the future. Your name and job and all things about your life have been utterly forgotten. Society looks wildly different and a group of young people stand in a circle near the place you now live holding a ceremony to honor the ancestors.

   What do you wish these brave young people to have? What kind of housing, food, water, healers, childcare, nature, rituals, art, poetry etc do you wish for them?

   These are the questions that a future ancestor considers.

   In our culture we’re so busy trying to make it through one day we often forget that we are the ones who carry the gifts, seeds and dreams of the future.

   One of your roles that you are here to reclaim (especially as you reach middle age and beyond) is to think beyond your immediate circumstances and consider the health and well being for those living seven generations from now.

   Part of working with the ancestors is knowing that you are one too- in the making.

   It’s not so much about legacy (i.e. my name will be known for generations) but about the gifts you give by being the fullest expressions of yourself. The poems you write. The traditions you begin. The places you protect and honor. The visions you bring into reality.

   If you struggle with feeling a lack of purpose (and many of us do) taking up the future ancestor role will start to heal the cultural wounds of apathy and overwhelm.

   But the problems of the world seems so huge. How can one person change any of it? Why bother? We’re all doomed.

   These are natural responses to the massive problems that face us. But they also stop us from seeing the bigger picture.

   What you do now does matter. You’re not just here to pay rent and to try and succeed at modern day life. You’re here for those young people two hundred years in the future. You carry the seeds of what needs to grow for them to thrive.

   You may not live to see the results of your work, in fact you’re likely to see it get worse before it gets better. But future ancestors know it will take many generations of healing to repair what took many generations to destroy. It’s the work we are here to do. To take our place in the line of ancestors slowly sowing and tending seeds that will one day feed a young person two hundred years in the future.

   Those who have yet to be born eagerly await you to take up your role as future ancestor.

3. Joy

   Death is a reminder to live. To appreciate what you have now.

   At a certain age you must turn from what you have been so busy with all these years and face death.

   Sometimes this reality is brought to you by an illness or the loss of someone dear. It may come with middle age. Some never face death and “enter the grave walking backwards”- as if staying busy and “productive” will somehow make death go away.

   Every day you live you are a day closer to death- that’s just a fact.

   If that brings up anxiety or regret in you, it’s worth pausing to ask why.

   Spending time considering death (which our culture avoids at all costs) pushes you to examine what you’re doing with your one precious life.

   If you died tomorrow what do you wish that you’d finally done? What places did you never see? Who did you want to tell you loved them? What idea or gift are you holding onto because its not “perfect” that the world will never know because you’re gone?

   At some point I caught myself using the phrase “getting through” a lot.

   I’ll just “get through” this task, “get through” this day, “get through” this event, “get through this trip”, “get through” this year.

   Eventually I had to ask myself what am I “getting through” to?

   The thing I was rushing towards was a grave. And the thing I was “getting through” was in fact, my life.

   So I decided to replace “getting through” with “get to”.

   I get to host this event. I get to have this day. I get to go on this trip.

   Determination shifted to joy. I get to make choices. I get to be alive. What a gift!

   If you ever find yourself falling into the cultural wound of busyness, working with the dead is a great wake up call to reconnect with your joy.

   No one on their death bed wishes they had worked harder or were busier. Regrets universally come from not taking time to fully live, to enjoy flower blossoms or the smell of fresh baked cookies. For not slowing down to savor all the joy that life offers.

   Your life eagerly awaits you to remember that you won’t be here forever. This day- this hour- this breath is a gift. Savor it.

   
   Thank you for reading! I’m curious to know how any of this lands for you. If you have comments or questions please leave them for me in the comments below and I’ll get back to you!

   xoxo

   Ginger
   
   

Thorne & Blossom. Magical gifts from the heart medicine tree.

May is forever associated in my mind with blossoming Hawthorn trees. Right around Mother’s Day (though on this cold wet spring it was 10 days after) the white blossoms burst forth and cover the tree and ground beneath them like snow. I go out and with leather gloves strip the small green leaves packed with antioxidants and vitamin K, along with showers of petals into harvest tubs.

I have a circuit of local farms that have old lovely Haws. I visit them each May and harvest just the lowest branches- leaving towers of flowers waving in the breeze above me.

The leaves and flowers will go into our Heart of Gold herbal blend. I part hawthorn leaf and flower, one part farm tulsi and one part rose petals. In fact Hawthorn is in the rose family so really it’s a double rose and tulsi blend.

Like roses, the Hawthorn has been connected to the medicine of the heart for centuries.

Scientific study has revealed Hawthorn leaf, flower and berries are packed with antioxidants known as flavanoids that signficantly improve circulation to the heart. regulate blood pressure, decrease chest pain and lower risk of heart failure. In fact one of the main

In traditional herbalism, Hawthorn was used to treat a variety of life experiences, supporting individuals dealing with occasional stress and sadness.* It was given to individuals with broken hearts, who had experienced loss, or who were in interesting situations. 

Go to sleep with Hawthorn. Through supporting the nervous system hawthorn leaf and flower promotes a sense of calm, a healthy sleep cycle, and sweet dreams. Because of this, it’s a great herb to incorporate into your evening routine.

Hawthorn was prized among Northwest Coastal Native People for many things. In addition to the flowers and berries being used as medicine, the large black thorns were used to make fish hooks, sewing awls, and lances for probing blisters, boils, and for piercing ears. The wood is unusually hard and has been fashioned into tools and weapons. It also makes long-lasting and hot fuel.

Hawthorn stories abound in European folklore. It is called “may flower” and has been an important part of European May Day celebrations, spring ceremonies and weddings since Roman times. The May Day festival is ancient and was named after the Greek goddess Maia. The maypole, which represents renewal and fertility, was decorated with hawthorn. During ancient Greek weddings, guests brought sprigs of hawthorn to bring happiness and prosperity to the new couple.

Hawthorn has been used by European people for spiritual protection in a similar way to Native American people’s use of wild rose. It was attached to babies’ cradleboards, windows and doorways to offer defense against illness and unwanted influences.

Christians adopted hawthorn from pagan traditions and dedicated it to the Virgin Mary. Christ’s crown of thorns was supposedly made from hawthorn. In legend, Joseph of Arimathea, Christ’s teacher and the caretaker of his tomb after the crucifixion, brought the first hawthorn to England in 63 AD. Where he planted his staff in the ground at Glastonbury it rooted and grew into a “holy thorn” that was said to bloom every Christmas.

“Haw” is German for hedge. Hawthorn was valued as a hedge or fence to mark land plots by many American immigrant farmers. This living hedge provided a windbreak and offers a place for pollinators, birds and other animals to thrive. You can still see hawthorn hedgerows on old farms and public spaces throughout the Northwest. I like the idea of bringing biodiversity back to farming and see local farmers re-embracing these old values through planting hedgerows.

Spring's Genius. The Power of Beginning.

“Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it” ”

— Goethe

Spring has arrived on the Oregon Coast, daffodils and nettles are up and furry willow buds are decorating the trees along the river. The beginning of this week marks the Spring Equinox which just happens to coincide this year with a new moon in Aries. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and reflects the bold and powerful energy of a fresh start.

I was inspired by author and life coach Martha Beck for this post when I recently listened to her podcast on Beginning.

The act of beginning itself has magic in it. It’s like a door you unlock, and beyond it lies all kinds of adventures. However, it’s for this very reason that many of us hesitate to get started. I have found this to be true in my own life, and I’ve also found that no matter how many times you begin, you always have to begin again.

Beginnings are places where confusion and mistakes are part of landscape. Most of like staying with the known and not messing around with something we’re not familiar with.

When you see something unfamiliar or unusual your brain is designed to react with fear to keep you safe. So every time a new start comes up even if it’s something that we’ve done before, we feel the fear of knowing we haven’t done this particular one before.

Every time you start something new, you go through a death and rebirth phase that is very disorienting, and it’s not something in our particular culture trained us to cope with. We’re supposed to just keep things going well, right? We’d rather just hunker in and do what we know, but try as we might to avoid it= the spring energy of beginning always comes.

So how do you begin? Well you start by seeing beginning as your friend and not as a threat.

But how do you make a friend with beginning when it feels so difficult?

5 Ways Your Brain Can Make Friends with Beginning:

Step 1. Breaking up the Soil.

Think of contemplating a beginning like plowing a field or preparing a garden bed in spring. You start by breaking up the soil of your old way of thinking, your old way of being. You have to make room and till up the soil before you can actually plant new seeds. You start by break up thing your wanting to begin in your mind.

So you picture the thing you are starting in little chunks. Don’t think “I have to begin to write this book” or “clean this house”. Instead chunk that project up into smaller bits that might take you more than like five or 10 minutes. When I go to clear up a garden area, I don’t do it as a one gigantic task, or my brain would come up with all kinds of reasons to avoid it. I have a series of smaller things that make up the big task.

First, I go get my gloves and tools out that I need. Then I pick one spot to put all my weeds. Then I work one area of the bed at at time. Clearing it out in chunks of maybe 5-10 minutes. Once all the chunks of the bed are weeded I put the weeds in a wheel barrow. Then I dump the barrow in the compost. Then I work up the bed in the same chunks. And then I begin the next task and on and on.

So I’ve actually created lots of beginnings, but they’re tiny things, and it’s much, much, much more likely that I’ll begin working in the garden if I just start with going to get my gloves and tools. Every big thing is made up of little things. So till it up and work with each chunk.

The reason we have dashes in our phone numbers, because the mind can’t handle a 10 digit code unless it’s broken into three and four and three. The brain can pretty much handle anything in chunks up to five.

Step 2: Work with your FOMO

One of the best ways you can get yourself motivated is to give yourself FOMO (fear of missing out). Watching another person gardening makes me want to get out there. They look like they’re having such a good time, and when I can see the steps they’re taking, and it makes me much more likely to go do it myself. This is why when we watch a person on social media baking bread suddenly we want to start baking too. It’s like a dress rehearsal for your brain.

Step 3. Set the Stage.

Another way to trick your brain into getting started is to set up your physical environment so you’re more likely to do the thing. If you want to start a new exercise routing in the morning then lay out your exercise clothes the night before, set your alarm and have your water bottle and music loaded and ready to go. This prep will get you far enough along in the process the next morning that your brain isn’t faced with all the resistance of starting from zero. Now that all this prep has been done its much easier to follow through. If you need to write a paper, setting up your computer and a cup of tea and getting out your notes beforehand will make it much easier to sit down at that set up area and write. Often times I will tell myself that all I have to do is just get things ready to start- and it ends up being the very thing that gets me going. This is also the magic behind writing it on your calendar. Once you set aside a time to do the starting- you’ve actually already started and momentum can carry you forward.

Step 4. Imagine the Reward!

If you want to give your dog a pill, one way to trick them to eat it is to get a piece of food and mush the pill into it, then get a bigger piece of food, a more delicious piece of food, and you hold both out. The dog will just scarf down the first one because it’s trying to get to the second one. It doesn’t chew the food enough to taste the pill.

You are not that different from a dog in this regard. Don’t think, “I’m going to write this email.” Instead think I think I’m going to write this email and then make myself a nice cup of tea. Hold out the reward right away before you start. It will be the treat that helps you swallow the pill without realizing it.

Step 5. Break the Ice

When your ready to move into action then use what’s known as ice breakers to give you momentum. Icebreakers are the powerful little ships that sail on the Great Lakes and have knife like prows. They cut up ice on the lakes so bigger ships can come in afterwards.

Ice breakers in this context can look like a writer do her morning pages; where she sits down and writes 3 pages in the morning about anything at all just to get going. An artist might start by taping down a piece of paper and layering in a background color. I will often go in and do a quick brain dump for a marketing email onto a piece of paper and then circle the parts I like the best. That’s an icebreaker for me that makes it much easier to actually start write the thing.

So try using these steps the next time you find yourself procrastinating the beginning.

1. Imagine it doing it in small chunks

2. Set up your area to work a day or hours before you actually intend to start

3. Give yourself FOMO by watching other people do it online or in real life.

4. Intentionally build in a pleasurable reward for getting a chunk of it done and all of it done

5. Break up the starting process into chunks. Ask yourself what’s the #1 action I can start with? And do it.

The result of all this is that instead of being afraid of beginning, you will actually go out looking for new things to begin so that you can be with your new friend.

Making friends with beginning breaks open and reveals all the magic inside it.
The next time you start it will be with more skill, more wisdom, and maybe even with the pleasure of knowing something new will happen.

If you think of life as impermanence, where everything dies and everything’s slipping away.. then you are also living in a world where everything is arising, awakening, renewing and birthing.

What’s new, what’s coming next?

If you’re friends with beginning, you’re continually surprised by the different kinds of genius, power, and magic that come out of it. You may even fall in love with the beginner’s mind, which is part of lots of Asian philosophy, where you treat every moment as a new beginning and every moment shows itself as your new friend.

So I hope you begin something wonderful today, and I hope you notice that something wonderful is always beginning out there, even as other things fall apart.

In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities. In the expert’s mind, there are few. So go begin and find out what happens next!

xoxo

Ginger

Did you find this post helpful? Want more like it?

If so leave me a note in the comments section below!

6 ways the Old rite of Imbolc can help with seasonal depression

Perhaps one of the least known festivals of the year, Imbolc is a celebration of early spring right at the edge of winter. In early February, new life begins to poke through the soil and buds tighten on the trees. Imbolc is a time for bringing new ideas into the light and for growing what we have been reflecting on over the winter months.

This is also a time of year when many people are suffering from seasonal depression. The lack of sunlight and cold weather can be hard to deal with, especially by February. With the promise of spring warmth still a ways off, try these 6 ancient Imbolc traditions to get you through to the Spring Equinox- when daylight will have finally reached 12 hours!

#1. The Goddess/Saint Brigid= Creativity is key!
The Celtic Goddess (now Saint) Brigid is associated deeply with the traditions of Imbolc. She blesses the season with fire (the returning sunlight) and water (through her sacred wells, waters and springs). She is a Goddess of motherhood and fertility. She gives the gifts of poetry, healing, weaving and basically any craft you do with your hands. One way to beat seasonal depression is to be like Brigid! Break out the art supplies, the clay, the keyboard, the kombucha kit and the garden seeds. Tap into nature’s emerging creative pulse and turn all that winter rumination into action. Brigid’s modern name is Etsy! Go check out what others are making and get inspired to join in the fun.

#2. Feasts and Fire
Another Imbolc tradition is the lighting of fires. Fires are not only practical but remind us of the returning power of the sun. In the Christian church, Imbolc is known as Candlemas, when candles are made to honor the Virgin Mary. Lighting an old fashioned camp fire outside on cold February night is a good opportunity to gather with friends and family, and reflect, share and laugh together. Imbolc is also a time of feasting so you might want to make some food you can cook in the fire, popcorn, hot dogs and of course- marshmallows! If you can’t light a fire outside- buy some pretty candles for your house and light them every evening at sunset. Notice that the sun is setting later each day by a few minutes- and let it be a cheerful reminder that spring is coming soon.

#3. Spring clean your home/office/car/body!
Now is the perfect time for a good spring cleanse. The name February comes from the Roman month of cleansing and means “to purify”. Take this moment to get rid of anything that is cluttering up your home and stagnating the energy. You will immediately feel the dopamine reward of walking into a room filled with clean open surfaces. If you can bear the cold, open a window while you clean and let some refreshing air flow through your home. Making cleaning into an Imbolc celebration is also a great way to tempt kids to tackle their rooms and get rid of toys they don’t want any more!

#4. Visit a stream, river or well
Traditionally, Imbolc was a time for visiting holy water; a spring or a well, to both purify us and bring fertility to our dreams. Why not set off on an adventure to find some fresh water near your home (snow counts!) If the water’s clean, splash some on yourself and set an intention to wash off any vibes you don’t want to take into spring with you. One old tradition is to dip a piece of ribbon in the water and then hang it from a nearby tree (trees near water are especially sacred to Brigid) to carry your messages of hope and healing to anyone who passes by. Pick up any rubbish you see near to water as an act of gratitude.

#5. Read Poetry- Write Poetry

Brigid is the patron saint/Goddess of poets and all literature. Poetry allows us to have a fresh perspective on things. It ignites new ideas and sparks a flame in our hearts. If you have a book of poems gathering dust on your bookshelf today is a great day to pull it out and read. It never fails to amaze me how different I feel after reading a poem. If you like to write this is also a wonderful time to try some poetry of your own. One fun way to stimulate your brain is to make a list of all the words you associate with spring and then write a poem about spring using none of those words!

#6 Healing Foods and Teas

Imbolc energy is one of purification and cleansing. So it’s a great time to go on a spring cleanse. Liver detox herbs like dandelion and rejuvenating nettles are great for the spring to wake the body up after eating heavier foods all winter long to stay warm. Naturally this is a time when animals come out of hibernation- and you’re not much different. Your body will be craving the fresh nutrition of spring foods like fresh greens. Because Imbolc is a festival of fire and water- soups, broths, teas and all things warm. light and nourishing will feel wonderful. I personally like to add some matcha green tea to my days this time of year. This Japanese tea leaf powder is perfect for afternoon slumps of energy. You may want to try our Spring Green tea for a nice Imbolc time tonic! Sauna, massage, hot baths with herbs and facial/lung steams are also wonderful for early spring cleansing.

If you are inspired to add Imbolc to your February celebrations let me know in the comment section! Do you already celebrate this spring/winter moment in your own way? Please let me know what your tradition is and why you love it!

xoxo

Ginger

New Year's Evolutions- Create the life you want by starting where you are.

Making a list of New Year’s resolutions and then not following through on them is a running joke in our culture. Yet each year we pull out a blank sheet of paper and do it anyway. Why? Because the energy of a fresh start feels so good. It’s hopeful and full of promise.

Even if in the back of our minds we know that the year ahead will most likely look like the year that just passed. Maybe a few things will change- or maybe sudden changes may upend everything, but rarely is that by our own design. In general we’re doing great if we can maintain our balance as life hands us challenge after challenge.

This year I decided to tweak the resolution game a bit and make New Year’s evolutions instead.

A resolution is something that you’re resolved to do. The word evokes discipline, hard work and determination (three things that human brains are hard wired to avoid like the plague).

Evolution indicates a slower more gradual process. Becoming a different version of yourself. This is the goal of resolutions anyways- to have a happier, more peaceful and fulfilled life. So what if you don’t need to lose 20lbs or travel the world to get there? What if all you need to do is take the life you currently have and slowly learn to just enjoy it more?

In my training as a life coach over the past two years I learned a couple of key concepts that helped me immensely.

First: Don’t fight reality.

Expecting to wake up on January 1st with a sudden influx of will power you’ve lacked every year up to this point is probably not likely.

You are still you. The world is still full of challenges and time constraints. The good news is- most of we think is “reality” is just a set of beliefs in our heads- so you can change it, but only if you start in with your mind.

Second: Your thoughts determine the quality of your emotional state.

You can look in the mirror and see the most beautiful person in the world and be brimming with pride or look in the mirror and be bitterly disappointed and overwhelmed by feelings of failure. The only difference is in what you’re thinking, which in turn affects how you feel, which affects your actions (and by extension your relationships, choices, and your life in general).

Change your thoughts = change your life.

Go the gym with the the thought that you are fat and out of shape = you’ll end up proving the thought true by giving up. This is what 95% of us do. It’s why resolutions don’t work for most of us. You can’t create a solution from the same thoughts and emotions that created the problem.

Now that we know why Resolutions don’t often work- here are some very easy and enjoyable 2023 Evolutions that really do work.

They are quick, free and backed up by real data showing they have created positive changes for thousands of people.

Try one or all of them out and you will be looking at investing about 15 minutes or less of your time.

1. High Five Yourself in the mirror each morning. Author and speaker Mel Robbins has done lots of research on this one and across thousands of people of all ages and walks of life has shown that the simple act of looking yourself in the eyes in the mirror and giving yourself a high five everyday makes you feel better about yourself and boosts dopamine in your brain. It creates a feeling of self love even if you are feeling down. Takes less than 5 seconds to do and it works! Try it and see. It may feel silly at first but if you do it daily you will notice a shift in how you are feeling about yourself.

2. Create a list of 10 things you really want for yourself this year and write them down as if you already have them. For example : I have my dream job of being a photographer. I weigh 150lbs. I drive a Mercedes. I am traveling Italy with a gorgeous romantic partner. After you write them down circle the one that will have the biggest positive impact on your life. It will jump out at you. Then let the other stuff go. Just focus on making more space in your life for that one thing that will move the needle. Trust that the other stuff will follow. This act relieves your brain from overwhelm and will give you a surprising amount of clarity on what you really want. Takes less than 5 minutes.

3. Text (or call) a friend once a week. Let them know you’re thinking about them. Research shows that connection to others is one of the biggest creators of happiness. Too often as adults we lose touch with our friends as we get wrapped up in our busy lives. Just sending a text a little poem or thought about why you appreciate them not only will make you feel good- it will make them feel loved and connected too. Studies also show that an 8 minute phone call is enough connection to fire up all the happy chemicals in your brain so set a timer and pick up the phone- you can build lasting friendships in under 10 minutes.

4. 5 minutes of morning peace. Set a timer and start taking 5 minutes in the morning for yourself. During this time you can sit quietly and watch birds, practice breathing deeply, do a gratitude journal or simply close your eyes and enjoy the silence. Taking a tiny bit of space to set up your peace for the day. As you make a habit of cultivating a feeling of inner peace (vs. rapid fire thoughts and rushing around) you will find you want more of it.

5. 5 minutes of evening reflection. Set a timer and before you go to sleep close your eyes and do a review of your day. What felt good about the day? What do you want more of. What didn’t you like during the day/want less of? You don’t have to change anything in your life or even write it down, but this gentle review practice builds a new level of awareness. You may be surprised by what made you happiest. Add a little gratitude practice in here and you really will boost your brain’s happy chemicals.

I hope these little New Year’s Evolutions inspire you to find peace, connection and happiness in tiny pockets throughout your day. As we evolve slowly to become more calm, other areas in our lives will naturally start to improve. You may find that you lose weight without even trying because you aren’t reaching for a bag of cookies to soothe your stress as often. You may find that a trip to Italy wasn’t as important as the need to create more fun in general by going on coffee dates with friends or visiting art museums.

Whatever you discover let it be a gentle process of being nicer to yourself rather than looking “improve and be more productive”. Take naps. Take time for tea. Take your days off seriously and everything else less seriously.

Happy New Year!

If you love this post and you plan on trying some of the tips out let me know in the comments below!

xoxo

Ginger